thepuncture.com

1. A specimen I have run into on my recent travels are women (I’m sure there are men out there who do the same- bear with me) who would make any linguist pray for a swift end. I was stuck in a car for an hour with two of such specimens, and I realize I’d rather be stuck in a car with a beehive. In the spring. With the windows closed.
The issue involves mis/overuse of the following words : Hysterical, Obviously, Legitimate, Definitely, Absolutely, Best, Worst, Hilarious, “I’m not gonna lie”,Oh my Gawsh. The list is not conclusive.
Example:
” Oh my gawsh, you see those three people on the scooter? I’m not gonna lie, that’s HYS-TERICAL! ”
or:
“Did you taste that dish? That was obviously the most legitimate dish in Thailand. I’m not gonna lie.”

Someone definitely get me a Lexicon and an English teacher STAT. They must have slept through If-you-add-an-adjective-to-the-sentance,-it-doesnt-make-the-sentence-more-interesting class.

2. How lame is it to PRAY what you don’t have the guts to SAY? I think I’ll come up with a new Christianese dictionary called “How to be a good Christian and end a conflict.. without ever confronting the person!!” (Call 1-800-I PRAY call now and we’ll throw in a free Bible with referenced verses to really tell ‘em what you REALLY think!). I think it would be less obvious that way, and eliminate the need to be creative.
Here are a few starters

“Dear God, give us flexibility today” ==means===> I need you to be less stubborn.
“Dear God, help us be humble today” ===> I want you to submit to my authority
“Dear God, give us grace with each other” ===> Stop hating me.

This can also be delivered in the form of Bible verses but that may be volume II of the series.

2. People attracted to emergency/trauma medicine happen to be a different breed. Many of them I have met have a lot of issues with self-worth and insecurity and seem to feel the need to compensate in their work. Their insecurity is obvious, and the competitive nature of these people makes them really not fun to be around, or as a nurse ever get report from. I don’t know why I thought that relief & development work would be any different.
It seems that in the past 2 months we have really met alot of big… jerks! Insecure, competitive, cocky, agressive, foolish are a few adjectives that come to mind when I think of the development workers I’ve met in Thailand. Isn’t that sad? Not only that, it’s actually really exhausting to be around. Being an outsider I’ve been rarely esteemed as having anything to contribute, and even after being here for 2 months am told “welcome” by people I’ve never met before in my life.
Some of these folks we’ve noticed have a very hard time not being the FIRST to know about a restaurant, idea, culture when they’ve been there for a whole 2 years. Wooow. How non-impressive.
A conversation goes something like this:
-Oh how long have you been in Chiang Mai?
-2 months
-Oh.
-How about you?
- almost 2 years
-Pretty good pad Thai eh?
-Well the BEST pad Thai is at…..
-Wow this is spicy
-You should try the BLABLA it’s REALLY spicy, one time, I ..
-Oh shut up. (I wish I had the guts to say that part)

I think this is very unhealthy and makes me seriously consider ever working in relief again. I’m just not interested in playing the game because I feel like I really don’t have anything to prove. Hopefully I only have Christ to boast in.

Ok, I’m done. Phiew I needed that. hahaha.